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I was a latecomer to counselling, having previously considered therapy a largely American pursuit. By the time I reached that landmark age, without children and in a marriage that was beginning to lose its fairytale glow, my daily life was beginning to feel not unlike a soap opera. And I did, pretty much, and I was perfectly fine - until suddenly I wasn't.I met all sorts of people, from all over the world, older and younger, and each seemingly as desperate for a true connection as I. Should I be blaming my mother, or my – mostly absent – father for feeling that something was eternally missing? I was born to a woman that didn't much want children, and who fell foul to postnatal depression a good couple of decades before the term was even coined.And for a while at least, it all felt harmless and innocent, and fun. My father leaving didn't help, and for the first six months of my life I was placed with a notional "auntie", a family friend who became my surrogate mother throughout my childhood.This concept brings up ethical questions regarding users "chang[ing their] identity, adopt[ing] new personalities and keep[ing] dreams and fantasies virtually real" in the internet world.The chat room rules for Bipolar Disorder Chat Rooms state: "We discourage the use of age/sex/location (a/s/l).When you discover your husband using online dating sites, you will automatically imagine the worst, that he is following through and is probably meeting other women. That is probably not happening, and it is not too late for your marriage, even if it is. Reactions, as you recall from biology, are instinctive responses with one purpose: to save your life.

Getting him to confess his sins and change his ways is the wrong approach. We get emails all the time through our free question portal from women who confronted their husbands.

I wrote this article about a husband using dating sites before the Ashley Madison(Intl Bus. I was personally thrilled by the ultimatum given to the company, because offering illicit escapades to a married person having marriage trouble is like offering wine to an alcoholic.

The first reaction in your mind is going to be self-protective, accompanied by fear.

Soon, I was spending hours in the parallel universe of cyberspace, often through wonderfully wide-awake nights, uninhibited in a way I never could be in reality.

I told no one, immersed and isolated in my secret life. In moments of fleeting clarity, I wanted to understand what was happening to me. Was it just my marriage problems, or was there something deeper causing me to behave that way?

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