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In the dating phase, you need to make the guy fall for you, and you need to make him fall hard.

And the girl code mentioned here will help you do just that.

In this world (the 21 year old college-girl one), dates are an after you’re in a committed relationship type of hang out as opposed to a preliminary to one. Meeting someone in class is unlikely because if there is a pause in the lecture, everyone’s head is glued to his/her phone.

The road to being “official” is a long one, or around three months I will argue. Once you are official, your first fight will probably be over the very same selfies that brought you together. Men won’t approach you in places like coffee shops because whatever is on their computer screen is far more interesting than you are.

[Read: How to impress a guy in 13 oh-so-awesome ways! [Read: How to make a guy like you by making him and other guys want you] But then again, a girl’s appearances may give her a second glance, and her attractiveness may draw a guy to her for a date or two.

And her frustration is what spurred me to write today’s post. You imply that you should get rid of the guys that don’t call regularly and make it obvious that they want to date and pursue a relationship and yet in the book you mention that you didn’t take your wife on a proper date for the first 4 weeks and how great she was that when you did call she was nice and said yes to whatever you proposed doing…and you ended up married….which is why women put up with flaky guys and “bad behavior”, holding out hope that it will change and turn into something serious. Or do you move on to the next guy because this one isn’t making much of an effort? But if Tanya is finding this grey area to be a bit too grey, then I have to acknowledge that perhaps I can do a better job of explaining it. So why does a man only call or text you once a week to make plans? If he expresses no interest in escalating the intensity of the relationship… So don’t worry about how much you like him, how strong your feelings are, or anything like that. Did they “see you” once a week for six months and suddenly declare their love? Potential boyfriends act like potential boyfriends. So give a guy 6-8 weeks to figure out his feelings, if necessary.

For some people the 4 weeks turns into 4 months without them noticing and by then they’re in that pattern…and the behavior becomes acceptable yet unfulfilling and it’s too late to change it because you’ve been the “nice”, undemanding girl the whole time. Why is a man perfectly content only seeing you once every two weeks? Just evaluate your man on the effort he’s making for you. And if you don’t get the sense that the relationship is growing, the talk is brief and emotionless: “Hey Adam, it’s been fun getting to know you, but I get the sense that we’re not on the same page.

One friend (who wishes to remain anonymous lest her non-boyfriend reads this) explains: “I’ve been seeing this guy for four months now – we’re dating and see each other a couple of times a week.

However, if anyone refers to me as his girlfriend in front of him, the colour drains from his face.

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