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Can you make a relationship with an equestrian girl work? Don’t refer to martingales and reins “ropes.” A halter and a bridle are NOT the same thing. The more you know about the things she’s interested in, the more impressed her and her friends will be. Altogether roughly 3 hours as a BEST case scenario.

Don’t use the words “gallop” or “giddeyup” that’s for a different kind of barn. Bonus tip, add another 10mins minimum for inevitable small talk you’ll encounter if anyone else is at the barn. You begin to realize the song thrift shop begin play through your head as you skim over the price tags. She buys a pair of socks that look like your grandmas curtains? especially if there is a chain or a crop nearby that she’s planning on buying.

She’s got every little thing down that you want in a girl but you don’t know her that well. Is it that old beat up looking building you see driving on country roads? Unfortunately, the moment you step foot in your car after being at the barn for what felt like an eternity the night before, the freshness is gone. Try and snag every picture you can with the horses ears forward and not pinned back.

She’s smart, funny and she doesn’t judge you for spending more time watching Netflix than she does. Now, if you’re like me and you just came fresh out the shower, wearing a brand new Roots sweater that smells like your new Millionaire cologne, you want to stay as fresh as long as possible. You’ll likely get asked to take pictures at some point in your relationship.

She was the presenter of Big Brother during its run on Channel 4 between 20.

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So say one day, you’re hanging out and getting to know each other and she invites you out to this place called “the barn”. Keep a care package of cleaning wipes, purrell, and air freshners (vent clips are the best…

On top of that you’ve created a new category in your closet dubbed “barn clothes” that contains nothing new (except everything you wore the first time you went to the barn). You almost immediately start to sweat because you have nothing to contribute to the conversation (except “huh? There is a distinct lingering smell of horse riding life that is immediately distinguishable from every other scent on the planet. These pictures have more to do with their Instagram page and less with your photography portfolio. Get on your knees and pray to God you figure out how to use it.




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